Tea and Biscuits

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2009-03-11T23:09:00.004-04:00

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STALE

2009-03-05T10:47:00.002-05:00

Time to start something new.

Please re-check this blog in T minus ONE WEEK.

24/7

2009-02-24T21:56:00.002-05:00

“Go without a coat when it’s cold; find out what cold is. Go hungry; keep your existence lean. Wear away the fat, get down to the lean tissue and see what it’s all about. The only time you define your character is when you go without. In times of hardship, you find out what you’re made of and what you’re capable of. If you’re never tested, you’ll never define you character.” - Henry Rollins

The Most Beautiful Woman In Town - Charles Bukowski

2009-02-08T00:42:00.002-05:00

Cass was the youngest and most beautiful of 5 sisters. Cass was the most beautiful girlin town. 1/2 Indian with a supple and strange body, a snake-like and fiery body with eyes to go with it. Cass was fluid moving fire. She was like a spirit stuck into a form that would not hold her. Her hair was black and long and silken and whirled about as did her body. Her spirit was either very high or very low. There was no inbetween for Cass. Some said she was crazy. The dull ones said that. The dull ones would never understand Cass. To the men she was simply a sex machine and they didn't care whether she was crazy or not.

And Cass danced and flirted, kissed the men, but except for an instance or two, when it came time to make it with Cass, Cass had somehow slipped away, eluded the men. Her sisters accused her of misusing her beauty, of not using her mind enough, but Cass had mind and spirit; she painted, she danced, she sang, she made things of clay, and when people were hurt either in the spirit or the flesh, Cass felt a deep grieving for them.

Her mind was simply different; her mind was simply not practical. Her sisters were jealous of her because she attracted their men, and they were angry because they felt she didn't make the best use of them. She had a habit of being kind to the uglier ones; the so-called handsome men revolted her- "No guts," she said, "no zap. They are riding on their perfect little earlobes and well- shaped nostrils...all surface and no insides..."

She had a temper that came close to insanity, she had a temper that some call insanity. Her father had died of alcohol and her mother had run off leaving the girls alone. The girls went to a relative who placed them in a convent. The convent had been an unhappy place, more for Cass than the sisters. The girls were jealous of Cass and Cass fought most of them. She had razor marks all along her left arm from defending herself in two fights. There was also a permanent scar along the left cheek but the scar rather than lessening her beauty only seemed to highlight it.

I met her at the West EndBar several nights after her release from the convent. Being youngest, she was the last of the sisters to be released. She simply came in and sat next to me. I was probably the ugliest man in town and this might have had something to do with it.

"Drink?" I asked.

"Sure, why not?"

I don't suppose there was anything unusual in our conversation that night, it was simply in the feeling Cass gave. She had chosen me and it was as simple as that. No pressure. She liked her drinks and had a great number of them. She didn't seem quite of age but they served her anyhow. Perhaps she had forged i.d., I don't know. Anyhow, each time she came back from the restroom and sat down next to me, I did feel some pride. She was not only the most beautiful woman in town but also one of the most beautiful I had ever seen. I placed my arm about her waist and kissed her once.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" she asked.

"Yes, of course, but there's something else... there's more than yourlooks..."

"People are always accusing me of being pretty. Do you really think I'mpretty?"

"Pretty isn't the word, it hardly does you fair."

Cass reached into her handbag. I thought she was reaching for her handkerchief. She came out with a long hatpin. Before I could stop her she had run this long hatpin through her nose, sideways, just above the nostrils. I felt disgust and horror. She looked at me and laughed,

"Now do you think me pretty? What do you think now, man?"

I pulledthe hatpin out and held my handkerchief over the bleeding. Several people, including thebartender, had seen the act. The bartender came down:

"Look," he said to Cass, "you act up again and you're out. We don't needyour dramatics here."

"Oh, fuck you, man!" she said.

"Better keep her straight," the bartender said to me.

"She'll be all right," I said.

"It's my nose, I can do what I want with my nose."

"No," I said, "it hurts me."

"You mean it hurts you when I stick a pin in my nose?"

"Yes, it does, I mean it."

"All right, I won't do it again. Cheer up."

She kissed me, rather grinning through the kiss and holding the handkerchief to her nose. We left for my place at closing time. I had some beer and we sat there talking. It was then that I got the perception of her as a person full of kindness and caring. She gave herself away without knowing it. At the same time she would leap back into areas of wildness and incoherence. Schitzi. A beautiful and spiritual schitzi. Perhaps some man, something, would ruin her forever. I hoped that it wouldn't be me. We went to bed andafter I turned out the lights Cass asked me,

"When do you want it? Now or in the morning?"

"In the morning," I said and turned my back.

In the morning I got up and made a couple of coffees, brought her one in bed. She laughed.

"You're the first man who has turned it down at night."

"It's o.k.," I said, "we needn't do it at all."

"No, wait, I want to now. Let me freshen up a bit."

Cass went into the bathroom. She came out shortly, looking quite wonderful, her long black hair glistening, her eyes and lips glistening, her glistening... She displayed her body calmly, as a good thing. She got under the sheet.

"Come on, lover man."

I got in. She kissed with abandon but without haste. I let my hands run over her body,through her hair. I mounted. It was hot, and tight. I began to stroke slowly, wanting to make it last. Her eyes looked directly into mine.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"What the hell difference does it make?" she asked.

I laughed and went on ahead. Afterwards she dressed and I drove her back to the bar but she was difficult to forget. I wasn't working and I slept until 2 p.m. then got up andread the paper. I was in the bathtub when she came in with a large leaf- an elephant ear.

"I knew you'd be in the bathtub," she said, "so I brought you something to cover that thing with, nature boy." She threw the elephant leaf down on me in the bathtub.

"How did you know I'd be in the tub?"

"I knew."

Almost every day Cass arrived when I was in the tub. The times were different but she seldom missed, and there was the elephant leaf. And then we'd make love. One or two nights she phoned and I had to bail her out of jail for drunkenness and fighting.

"These sons of bitches," she said, "just because they buy you a few drinks they think they can get into your pants."

"Once you accept a drink you create your own trouble."

"I thought they were interested in me, not just my body."

"I'm interested in you and your body. I doubt, though, that most men can see beyond your body."

I left town for 6 months, bummed around, came back. I had never forgotten Cass, but we'd had some type of argument and I felt like moving anyhow, and when I got back i figured she'd be gone, but I had been sitting in the West End Bar about 30 minutes when she walked in and sat down next to me.

"Well, bastard, I see you've come back."

I ordered her a drink. Then I looked at her. She had on a high-necked dress. I had never seen her in one of those. And under each eye, driven in, were 2 pins with glassheads. All you could see were the heads of the pins, but the pins were driven down into her face.

"God damn you, still trying to destroy your beauty, eh?"

"No, it's the fad, you fool."

"You're crazy."

"I've missed you," she said.

"Is there anybody else?"

"No there isn't anybody else. Just you. But I'm hustling. It costs ten bucks. But you get it free."

"Pull those pins out."

"No, it's the fad."

"It's making me very unhappy."

"Are you sure?"

"Hell yes, I'm sure."

Cass slowly pulled the pins out and put them back in her purse.

"Why do you haggle your beauty?" I asked. "Why don't you just live withit?"

"Because people think it's all I have. Beauty is nothing, beauty won't stay. You don't know how lucky you are to be ugly, because if people like you you know it's for something else."

"O.k.," I said, "I'm lucky."

"I don't mean you're ugly. People just think you're ugly. You have a fascinating face."

"Thanks."

We had another drink.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Nothing. I can't get on to anything. No interest."

"Me neither. If you were a woman you could hustle."

"I don't think I could ever make contact with that many strangers, it's wearing."

"You're right, it's wearing, everything is wearing."

We left together. People still stared at Cass on the streets. She was a beautiful woman, perhaps more beautiful than ever. We made it to my place and I opened a bottle of wine and we talked. With Cass and I, it always came easy. She talked a while and I would listen and then i would talk. Our conversation simply went along without strain. We seemed to discover secrets together. When we discovered a good one Cass would laugh that laugh-only the way she could. It was like joy out of fire. Through the talking we kissed and moved closer together. We became quite heated and decided to go to bed. It was then that Cass took off her high -necked dress and I saw it- the ugly jagged scar across her throat.It was large and thick.

"God damn you, woman," I said from the bed, "god damn you, what have you done?"

"I tried it with a broken bottle one night. Don't you like me any more? Am I still beautiful?"

I pulled her down on the bed and kissed her. She pushed away and laughed,

"Some men pay me ten and I undress and they don't want to do it. I keep the ten. It's very funny."

"Yes," I said, "I can't stop laughing... Cass, bitch, I love you...stop destroying yourself; you're the most alive woman I've ever met."

We kissed again. Cass was crying without sound. I could feel the tears. The long black hair lay beside me like a flag of death. We enjoined and made slow and somber and wonderful love. In the morning Cass was up making breakfast. She seemed quite calm and happy. She was singing. I stayed in bed and enjoyed her happiness. Finally she came over and shook me,

"Up, bastard! Throw some cold water on your face and pecker and come enjoy the feast!"

I drove her to the beach that day. It was a weekday and not yet summer so things were splendidly deserted. Beach bums in rags slept on the lawns above the sand. Others sat on stone benches sharing a lone bottle. The gulls whirled about, mindless yet distracted. Old ladies in their 70's and 80's sat on the benches and discussed selling real estate left behind by husbands long ago killed by the pace and stupidity of survival. For it all,there was peace in the air and we walked about and stretched on the lawns and didn't say much. It simply felt good being together. I bought a couple of sandwiches, some chips and drinks and we sat on the sand eating. Then I held Cass and we slept together about an hour. It was somehow better than lovemaking. There was flowing together without tension.

When we awakened we drove back to my place and I cooked a dinner. After dinner I suggestedto Cass that we shack together. She waited a long time, looking at me, then she slowly said,

"No."

I drove her back to the bar, bought her a drink and walked out. I found a job as a parker in a factory the next day and the rest of the week went to working. I was too tired to get about much but that Friday night I did get to the West End Bar. I sat and waited for Cass. Hours went by . After I was fairly drunk the bartendersaid to me, "I'm sorry about your girlfriend."

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, didn't you know?"

"No."

"Suicide. She was buried yesterday."

"Buried?" I asked.

It seemed as though she would walk through the doorway at any moment.

How could she be gone?

"Her sisters buried her."

"A suicide? Mind telling me how?"

"She cut her throat."

"I see. Give me another drink."

I drank until closing time.

Cass was the most beautiful of 5 sisters, the most beautiful in town. I managed to drive to my place and I kept thinking, I should have insisted she stay with me instead of accepting that "no." Everything about her had indicated that she had cared. I simply had been too offhand about it, lazy, too unconcerned. I deserved my death and hers.

I was a dog. No, why blame the dogs?

I got up and found a bottle of wine and drank from it heavily.

Cass the most beautiful girl in town was dead at 20. Outside somebody honked their automobile horn. They were very loud andpersistent. I sat the bottle down and screamed out: "GOD DAMN YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH, SHUT UP!" The night kept coming and there was nothing I could do.

"We are not amused"

2009-01-28T23:41:00.000-05:00

I'm still alive 2005.

2009-01-23T21:52:00.007-05:00

A tragedy has no room for reason and is completely and utterly out of your control, which makes it that much harder to comprehend. When a sequence of illogical events unfurl around you like a ball of string kicked off the top step, there really doesn't seem to be anywhere else to go but down. Two words spoken throw petrol on the fire that you live your life by.

"Ten months" make a bonfire. Spontaneous Human Combustion.

The world falls apart and all that seemed stable falls wounded around your feet. Two words clench you in a fist.

Digging.
Gripping.
Squeezing.
Dust.

Eventually, you'll face a choice - Spread a handful of ash in soil or blow it through a fan. Because when the shit hits, your future is left up to you. Regain through perserverance and try to find a certain understanding of the inexplicable. Surround yourself with fine examples, examples of life and love. Be vital. Be vigorous. Learn. There is a spectrum and enduring an extremity expands it. The positive is that much sweeter.

(2005 made me soft but without fear. I wont forget and Lucy is always part of me, but I'm here and I'm willing and I'm able.)

The Queen Of Sleep And All That Is Lovely

2009-01-22T07:42:00.002-05:00

Sarah B.

Half woman, half cat.

LA FLUME

2009-01-22T07:38:00.002-05:00

Tidal waves cometh '09 watch this space

fanta-seas for the earholes.

waterpark of noise.

get it up ya.

Gymnastic Hustle

2009-01-22T07:04:00.003-05:00

After a tiring urban dance session all you want to do is get back to the apartment, cook up something good with your girls and put your feet up in front of the Gossip Girl re-run.

These are my confessions.

2009-01-20T22:32:00.004-05:00

I find it terribly hard to write anything too personal on Tea And Biscuits. Any of the time that I've spent letting the computer screen in on my thoughts has been erased after completion. A true waste.

Is it sheer embarrassment? Bashfulness? Or purely just the incessant self-promotion of others that irks me? I can't decide. However, what I do know is that the amount of times that I have already used 'I' and 'my' and 'me' in this paragraph makes me feel slightly unsound.

However, onwards and upwards, for now there will be more of 'me' as plenty has happened lately. Plenty that I would like to share.

On second thoughts, I'll give it a go...but if this sickly feeling continues to creep up my throat as I talk to the internet, then it's back to personally exciting but non-absorbed ramblings.

Hannah

LET EM COME

2009-01-11T12:09:00.001-05:00

This Is What I See Them Doing Every Other Day

2008-12-29T00:41:00.008-05:00

As they head into another witching hour a familiar curiousity slowly shifts it's way out of his mind and crawls under her skin. Peeling it back piece by piece - parts detach and reform, undo and mend, tear then fuse.

"The mind is extraordinary" he says, "But I just don't know where to begin with you."

As the dusk rises, she falls out of decency's favour once again. "Get fucked dickhead, I've had enough." The world shrivels up and reduces to dust for a morning.

He knows in the back of her head she'll be back. Fucking glutton.

Skins And Punks - Gavin Watson

2008-12-14T20:22:00.011-05:00

Go here and buy.

Skins And Punks - by Gavin Watson

2008-12-14T20:00:00.003-05:00

Vice Books has been busy lately, releasing Gavin Watson's second photo book Skins And Punks: Lost Archives 1978 - 1985. If you want it signed, get to Rough Trade East tomorrow in London.

"Just in case by some minor miracle you haven't noticed then start paying attention: we've released a little book called Skins and Punks by Gavin Watson. Everyone seems to be digging it so if you haven't got one yet why not come and get a signed copy for yourself? Yep, Gav will be writing his name in books at Rough Trade East, on Monday 15th Dec from 7pm. Meet the guy who took the photos and get the perfect Christmas present for anyone you know with a predilection for stark, funny and beautiful images of angry young men with not much hair in the depressing grey of the Thatcherite 80s."

I'll post up photos from the book and exhibition next. For now, here's a pic Gavin took of Dirty Money not too long ago. Very moody, boys.

LAHNDAHN

2008-12-14T19:50:00.003-05:00

Did you go?

If not, WHY not?

Curated by Floss Daily & Tomorrow's World (AKA. Slim)

How about Jumble Fever?

London stand up. Let us know.

Duly Noted

2008-10-20T05:28:00.004-04:00

I dunno how she stole my moves again, but still...

FUN FUN FUN

2008-10-16T10:40:00.003-04:00

www. funfunfunfest. com

Single day tickets and discounted 2 day passes will be available today at:www. frontgatetickets.com

DAY 1/November 8th

Stage 1A Stage 1B

The National (8:40-9:40) Atmosphere (7:35-8:35) Deerhoof (6:30-7:30) Rival Schools (5:40-6:25) Trail of Dead (4:50-5:35) Bishop Allen (4-4:45) Centromatic (3:20-3:55) Sleepercar (2:45-3:15) Parts & Labor (2:10-2:40) Colourmusic (1:35-2:05) Experimental Dental School (1-1:30) Paul green school of rock (12:25-1:55)

Stage 2

Neil Hamburger (8:45-9:45) Tim Fite (7:45-8:30) Magnetic Morning (6:45-7:30) Coldetowne comedy hr (5:30-6:30) Golden arm trio (4:35-5:15) Pepi Ginsberg (3:40-4:20) Walter Schreifels (3-3:30) El Paso Hot Button (2:20-2:50) David Dondero (1:40-2:10) Frank smith (1-:30) Grampall Jookabox 12:30-1

Stage 3A Stage 3B

Dead Milkmen (8:45-9:45) ALL (7:50-8:40) Integrity (7-7:45) Adolescents (6:10-6:55) Municipal Waste (5:20-6:05) Killdozer (4:30-5:15) Swingin Utters (3:40-4:25) Young Widows (3:05-3:35) Krumbums (2:30-3) Broken Gold (1:55-2:25) Mammoth Grinder (1:20-1:50) Yuppie Pricks (12:45-1:15)

Stage 4

Ztrip (8:10-9:40) Dan Deacon (7-8) Brownout! (6-6:45) Yacht (4:45-5:45) Octopus Project (3:45-4:45) Hawnay Troof (3-3:30) Dengue Fever (2:00-2:45) Terp2it (1:30-1:55) Richard Henry (12:30-1:25)

DAY 2/November 9th

Stage 1A Stage 1B

Clap Your Hands (8:40-9:40) Minus The Bear (7:35-8:35) St Vincent (6:30-7:30) Black Angels (5:40-6:25) Islands (4:50-5:35) The Annuals (4-4:45) Spinto Band (3:20-3:55) Frightened Rabbit (2:45-3:15) Black joe lewis (2:10-2:40) 27 (1:35-2:05) Till We're Blue or Destroy (1-1:30) Ume (12:25-12:55)

Stage 2

Tim and Eric Awesome show (8:45-9:45) The cynics (7:45-8:30) Ugly beats (7:10-7:40) Matt bearden, chris Fairbanks, dragonboy suede (5:35-6:55) Revival tour: chuck ragan (hot water music), ben nichols (lucero), tom gabel (against me), tim barry (avail) (3-5:30) Kevin seconds (2:20-2:50) Altercation punk rock comedy tour (1:35-2:20) Spot and Albert (12:30-1:30)

Stage 3A Stage 3B

Bad Brains (8:45-9:45) Bouncing Souls (7:40-8:40) Cro-Mags (jam) (6:50-7:35) Scared of Chaka (6-6:45) DOA (5:10-5:55) High Tension Wires (4:35-5:05) Leftover Crack (3:45-4:30) Trash Talk (3:10-3:40) Cute Lepers (2:35-3:05) Bitter End (2-2:30) Camp X-ray (1:55-2:25) Born To Lose (1:20-1:50) tba (12:45-1:15)

Stage 4

Clipse (8:45-9:45) grupo fantasma (7:30-8:30) kool keith/dr octagon (6:30-7:15) franki chan (5:25-6:25) toxic avenger (4:25-5:25) J*davey (3:25-4:10) Starlynx/bigface (2:10-3:10) zeale and phranchyze(1:35-2:05) shane tyson (12:30-1:30)

Amphitrite

2008-10-13T10:56:00.018-04:00

Margate buzz - Here are a few bits and pieces.

Home Is Where The Art Is - by Iain Aitch

"As I wander along Margate seafront, killing time, the electronic chimes of video games and fruit machines are being blown back into the amusement arcades by the biting wind whipping across the sands. A sign on the beach optimistically offers 'suntraps for hire' and four donkeys huddle together for warmth by the shoreline. The previous day had seen glorious sun and an enthusiastic smattering of sun worshippers on the golden sand, but this being a bank holiday weekend, the sun has taken the day off.

The reason for my aimless pacing is Tracey Emin, the town's most (in)famous daughter. I was supposed to meet her at 11am, but she called me on my way down to say that she would be artistically late. This set off my inbuilt prima donna detector, but when Emin turns up an hour later than planned she is positively bouncy, despite the hangover, and bursting with apologies. 'Sorry about the clothes,' she says, pulling at her red and white T-shirt. 'I had to borrow them all. I only came down in my bikini.'

('I've got it all' - Tracey Emin)

She had arrived during the previous day's flash heatwave, having apparently forgotten that Margate is still very much a part of England. The focus of our seaside day out is Dreamland, the Kent resort's evocatively named amusement park, which has been the centre of its tourist industry for the past 83 years. Its owner, Jimmy Godden, recently announced that he is selling the site, making it look a dead cert for yet another retail development.

Having been born and raised in Margate I have long since come to realise that the names Dreamland and Emin are synonymous with the town. Every time conversation takes a 'So where do you come from?' turn people instantly throw one or both names back at me - usually recounting a ride on the Scenic Railway or inquiring whether my name occupies a corner of Emin's famous Everyone I Have Ever Slept With tent. I always answer emphatically in the negative, though I did figure that a face-to-face meeting would at least rid me of the nagging feeling that Emin could be the same Tracey whom I enjoyed a youthful fumble with on a disco pool table somewhere around 1983.

As we enter Dreamland, Emin starts blurting out memories, pointing to the place where the zoo used to be, the helter-skelter she replicated for an artwork and the space that The Sphinx funhouse, her favourite attraction, once occupied. 'It was like "Let's get a quick grope and a snog in The Sphinx",' she says, not mentioning any similar experience on pool tables. But, for all the memories, it is hard not to notice how run-down Dreamland looks"

('My Bed' - Tracey Emin)

('The Future' - Tracey Emin)

("Every morning I wake up and he’s there, little paws, little ears. He mutters a few meows, rolls over on his back and smiles. And I think, ‘how could anything so perfect have ever been created?'" - 'Me and Docket' - Tracey Emin)

Margreat by LUCIA FAWKES

Dying to try and see whats inside of these things that I take and somehow seem to make them burn bright and then fall down and die die die, a slow sinking death into the one true depth where frustration runs harder than the night we push into (with the rush of good intention and pure unadulterated misconceptions) I hope that the things we make are not the things we'll break and the times that we shared are running deep through my veins light light light a match and set that on fire, burn up…roll up roll up its time for the carnivals to claw their way out through the dirty dirty South. And these Margate eyes are no longer just mine these sand ridden hands are no longer their own these workers knees no longer swim to shore but far off hitting the cliffs. I face and pull and drag and draw we hold our breaths in fear of drinking salt-taste sand-faced pools of fresh grey into our lungs we dont want to die we just wanna end your world you know what I'm saying and he pulls her in and he drags her away, she pulls him in and and she drags him away. And nothing is wrong nothing compares nothing needs changing nothing needs moving they lap the pond together lap it up like wet dogs on heat. Heady summer sun I'm not ready to die. Heady summer sun I'm not ready to die. Balmy chalky cliff-faced nights clip it into your bones, carve it into your head. You'll never forget me. its the oceans' potion.

Turner's Margate

Dreamland

2008-10-13T08:44:00.004-04:00

Got bashful

2008-10-08T07:59:00.022-04:00

Sleeper Videos

2008-10-08T07:17:00.002-04:00

Sleeper were the reason that most girls in my class screwed up the front of their hair with Sun-In = The only time it was alright to make yourself a half-ginger on purpose.

Thinking about it - using 'Sun In' in England really doesn't make any sense.

What's wrong with being a mother? - By Louise Wener

2008-10-08T07:09:00.002-04:00

As the lead singer of 90s pop band Sleeper, Louise Wener had no interest in having children and ending up knee-deep in nappies. Then last year she had a daughter - and discovered that she loved motherhood. But she also found that for her generation admitting such a thing was almost shameful ...

Louise Wener
The Guardian,
Wednesday April 5 2006

It is three weeks before my baby is due and I am sitting in my GP's waiting room. A woman sits down next to me and stares intently at my bump. She asks if this baby is my first and I nod, expecting some words of congratulations. Instead, she frowns and shakes her head. "Your life will never be the same," she says. She doesn't mean this in a good way. She means I have no idea what I'm in for.

I gave birth to my daughter last October and still find this woman's reaction bemusing. Perhaps I shouldn't. Her sentiment was entirely in keeping with an emerging gloom about motherhood. The summer I was pregnant, Lionel Shriver's novel We Need to Talk About Kevin won the Orange prize and the whiff of maternal ambivalence was everywhere. Written by a childless woman, it is the story of a mother who gives birth to a son she doesn't love. He grows up to be a mass murderer.

Shriver followed her success with a series of provocative interviews headlined Why Ruin Your Life? and Meet the Anti-Mom. She seemed to have sparked something of a trend. In the months that followed you couldn't open a magazine without reading about another women who had stumbled into motherhood only to find she didn't like it much. Newspapers ran stories called Kids, Who Needs Them? Bookshops stocked up on titles such as Mother Shock, The Mommy Myth, and, most recently, Perfect Madness.

My biological clock went off like a bomb when I was 36 but I wasn't certain how I would adapt to becoming a mother. I had never been that keen on babies. When I held other people's, they usually cried. In my 20s and early 30s I sidestepped adult responsibility in favour of the extended adolescence that comes with being in a pop band. For the past five years I have made my living as a writer. It is a less glamorous and anarchic existence but affords a level of autonomy and freedom that I had come to cherish. As delighted as I was to be pregnant, I wondered if the fact that I had delayed having children for so long might indicate some latent ambivalence of my own.

I needn't have worried. Six months in, I find parenthood absolutely wonderful. It is the most joyful and absorbing thing I have ever done. It is more physically demanding than I had realised but also less of a drudge. I enjoy looking after my daughter. I find it satisfying to keep her warm, clean and fed. The first eight weeks are as tough as advertised - if I found time to wash, or make a phone call, I was doing well - but in truth, I was so loved-up from the breastfeeding hormones I hardly cared. I felt as if I was on E.

There have been stir-crazy moments but I have relished being at home with my child. I find her superb company. I am enthralled by the changes she makes day by day; by her emerging character and inquisitiveness. I miss her when she is sleeping. I can waste whole hours gazing at her cheeks. The first time she laughed was more thrilling to me than performing at Brixton Academy. It is early days - and I am hardly the only parent to be thus enamoured with their firstborn - but, having come to it so late and been so resistant, her father and I have been surprised by quite how much we're enjoying it. It feels like being let in on a secret.

So what's the problem? The thing is, I'm a bit embarrassed to say how much I like it. In these days of falling birth rates, with more people choosing to be childless, it seems distinctly un-hip. Ever since Miranda feigned excitement at her baby's ultrasound in Sex and The City, it feels as if women are expected to display their maternal ambivalence like a badge of honour. Unless you're running around grieving for your liberty and your lost identity, or worrying that your child is going to grow up to be a Columbine-style killer, you are somehow being dishonest. If you claim to love parenthood or, worse yet, find it fulfilling, you are probably lying. Or Gwyneth Paltrow.

There is a sense that women of my generation are letting the side down if they confess to feeling unconditionally maternal. The word has come to mean mumsie. We are meant to be fighting the battles of our mothers who didn't have any choice. My own mother gave up having a career to raise three children. As a child I thought her a slave to domesticity. I feared turning into one of those women, the kind that leap up from behind the coffee urn at mother and toddlers mornings - coated in baby sick and parsnip puree - to harangue you for not using eco-friendly nappies. I craved freedom, independence, adventure, excess; a world away from the domestic landscape of marriage, mortgage and kids. I've long since settled down to monogamy and property repayments but having a child seemed like the final frontier.

I would be a pram pusher, a bottom wiper, manacled to the kitchen sink, a hostage to bottle feeds and bath times. But all that was a failure of imagination on my part. Domestic life is merely the backdrop to becoming a parent. Imagining that motherhood is all about the washing and the feeding and the vomit is like suggesting a surgeon's skill is all about keeping his hands clean. It's a long way from late-night recording sessions, foreign concert halls and Top of the Pops, but the sense of confinement I had worried about in my touring days has yet to materialise. I'm not saying caring for my daughter is all the validation I'll ever need - I realise it is not her responsibility to fulfill me long term - but, for the first time in my life, I can easily see how it could be.

Shriver recently published an interview with three of her friends in which they explored their decision to remain childless. Among the reasons given were: preserving their relationship with their partner; the desire to continue meeting "fun" people, and a wish to go on holiday to Tanzania. Shriver describes her friends as droll and bright, with interesting lives. The subtext is clear. If you have children, you won't be interesting any more.

Similarly, Rachel Cusk, the original poster girl for maternal ambivalence, comes across as equally presumptive in her book A Life's Work. She paints a bleak view of early motherhood. She wanders into it with wilful unpreparedness then takes it as a personal slight when she discovers the effort involved. She bitterly mourns her pre-pregnancy life and behaves as if self-sacrifice is the lone preserve of parents. "We only experience ourselves sacrificing things - time, freedom, pleasure, sleep - for our children," she says. You wonder if she's ever had a job she didn't like, or how it might feel to be her ailing mother or sick friend. Women who didn't relate to her lament were written off as "Alice band-wearing mumsies". She had penned her memoir, she said, to speak to intelligent women.

I'm not claiming motherhood as an epiphany; the sun doesn't suddenly shine brighter than it did. It is not that I believe you can't know what it is to be a woman without having a baby, neither do I feel that anyone should feel obligated to procreate. There is much hyperbole on both sides. The point is, I don't feel fundamentally altered by having a child. I haven't suddenly stopped reading the newspaper and started making jam. I'm no less enamoured of the wider world than I ever was; in fact, I can't wait to share it with my daughter. But having a child is an altogether more complex pleasure than affording an expensive car, or experiencing an uninterrupted night's sleep. In a society that values personal ambition and acquisitiveness above all things, I wonder if we haven't lost the vocabulary to describe it.

The maternally ambivalent tend to think that having children is a burden. They think the culturally dominant view of parenthood is overly romanticised. In what way is it romanticised? Turn on the TV any night of the week and you'll be assaulted by the view that parenthood is a nightmare. You are Mel Giedroyc in the ghastly sitcom Blessed: dowdy, embattled, leaky of nipple, angry, remote and joyless. Your toddlers will throw bricks at you and call you a bitch and need consigning to The House of Tiny Tearaways. Your teenagers will cut themselves with razor blades and be carted off to Brat Camp. Their ambivalence toward their children is much of what makes the Desperate Housewives desperate. You're hardly a trailblazing taboo buster for claiming parenthood's not all it is cracked up to be.

No one is saying it's easy. A baby that doesn't sleep or cries a lot can test you to the point of insanity, and looking after two or three is clearly a different experience than caring for one. It's vital that new parents are able to vent their anxieties and frustrations without fear of judgment or rebuke. But could it be that reviews of parenthood are much like reviews of anything else? The negative ones are more fun to read and write, but for every parent finding it less than enchanting, there are a hundred others thrilling to it in secret.

It was a battle for me to get to this point. It took a year to get pregnant - I then had an early miscarriage that I found devastating, and a second pregnancy fraught with scares. At five months I found out I was having a girl; I spent the next four convinced I would lose her. The birth was traumatic. If the downsides of parenthood are being overplayed, the truth of childbirth seems shrouded in silence. My midwife, a cold, unhelpful woman who called me mummy - "Does mummy want to do a wee-wee? Does mummy want to have a drink" - completely screwed things up. She had me push before I was fully dilated which bent my cervix out of shape, causing it to swell and become inflexible. I remember her colleagues shouting at her in the corridor. She was whisked away from me, out of sight.

I pushed for another two hours but by then my daughter wasn't shifting. On some pre-arranged signal doctors appeared like puppeteers from behind some hidden curtain bearing needles, suction cups and giant spoons. They heaved my baby out of me. I felt the ventouse tearing at my vaginal muscles. I felt the forceps grind against my pelvic bones. I was bound up to machines: frightened, assaulted, out of control with the voice of Sheila Kitzinger ringing in my ear. "This is what it's like," she was saying. "This is what they do to you in hospitals." Even so, the first sight of my daughter was mesmerising. She was healthy. She was beautiful. There was another soul in the room.

I hoped that might be the end of things but it wasn't. My placenta failed to deliver and I was rushed to theatre away from my partner and child. They tore it out in pieces with an instrument that looked like a giant beak. Somewhere in all this I haemorrhaged, and needed a blood transfusion. I spent the night recovering on the hard rubber bed I had given birth on. I was badly anaemic and into my third night without sleep. In the early hours the epidural began to wear off: enough that I was in excruciating pain, not so much that I could yet move my legs. My daughter began to cry. I rang for a nurse. No one came. My right hand was immobile from the needle that was dripping someone else's blood into my arm and every time I tried to shift my body with my left, I jarred my stitches and pulled my catheter half out. Somehow I managed to pick my daughter up by her blanket and put her to my breast. She took my nipple in her mouth and began to feed. I was sobbing by this point. She stared up at me as she drank. It's OK, she seemed to be saying. You don't know how to do any of this yet, but I do. I promise, it's all going to be all right. We were bonded. I adored her. We were pals.

Having a child is nothing like it is on the Persil adverts. Nothing so good is ever that anodyne. Parenthood smells funny. It's tough, uneven, dark around the edges; it's also glorious, stimulating and profound. If you're debating whether or not to do it, don't dwell too long on the thoughts of Lionel Shriver. Asking someone who has never had a child what it might be like to have one is foolish. It's like seeking relationship advice from a person who has never been in love.

Never gonna give never gonna give...

2008-10-06T11:45:00.001-04:00

The Devil Came on Horseback

2008-10-03T12:38:00.011-04:00

On Darfur and Genocide

By Hannah Jenkins

“What is important is that not only that people do know about the situation in Darfur, but that they educate others.”

Is there a better time than now to stand up and try and make a positive change? As able, compassionate people, the youth of America have all that’s needed to become educated and aware of atrocities happening on the other side of the world, and do something about it. As members of the global community, is it not a given duty to reach out when others are in crisis or need?

The Devil Came on Horseback is a powerful documentary film which tracks the course of former Marine Captain Brian Steidle's time in the Darfur region of Sudan as an unarmed military observer for the African Union. Armed with only a pen, paper, and his camera, Steidle penetrates the heart of Darfur where other journalists cannot reach to witness firsthand the tragedies taking place. Frustrated by the lack of action taken against the genocide in Darfur, Steidle returned to America to expose his accounts and photographs to the Western world with hope of opening eyes, broadening minds, and giving the government the balls to take action. The Devil also tracks the aggravating mixed political reactions he received, Steidle's transformation into a motivating moral activist, and how he is taking the Darfur movement forward.

This documentary has the type of cinematography that will shake viewers into action, with harrowing images leaking in and out of normal thought. This is the sort of film with a message that will crack open the ground underneath the feet of a nation.

A background to genocide

In 2004, a shaky ceasefire ended a 20-year civil war in Sudan between the north and south. In the year prior to the decision, Darfur, a region located in the west of Sudan, became a scene of rebellion against the Arab-dominated Sudanese government. Two local rebel groups, the Sudanese Liberation Army (SLA) and the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM), accused the government of the neglect of the Darfur region when considering the development of the country as a whole, and that they favored Arabs over non-Arabs. In response to this, the Sudanese government began to execute a plan to flat-line the Darfur region by air and attacks on the ground via an Arab militia, the Janjaweed, which is literally translated as “devils on horseback.” Even though the government denies any association with the group who mass-murder, loot, and systematically rape the Darfurian people, it’s common knowledge they fund and train the Janjaweed as their own army.

Since 2004, it’s estimated that 400,000 people have died in Darfur and over 2.5 million have been displaced from their homes into refugee camps in surrounding countries like Chad. What Stiedle along with many other activists realized is that global organizations like the United Nations need to recognize such mass torture and intervene.

In the past four years, the UN has passed 17 resolutions concerning Darfur, but unless they are implemented and sanctions are taken against the Sudanese government, the destruction and violence will continue. Steidle and his close associates have founded a number of organizations that are vehicles for the growing movement to end the crisis in Darfur, as well as aiding other post-war citizens, like the orphans of Rwanda.

As well as campaigning to the rest of the world to take action to stop these inhumane acts, they urge every person, through their organization, HOPE, that they can do something too—from downloading an album, to putting on a show, to buying a t-shirt, even by simply the power of education, we can create a positive environment for others who have been through more than we could ever comprehend.

Brian Steidle speaks out

I spent some time with Steidle to ask him a few questions about the conflict in Sudan, what we can do, and what the future holds for Darfur.

Why do the Janjaweed work so viciously and diligently for the Sudanese government?

There’s a number of different factors there; they have been motivated by a number of different things. First, the competition between the Arabs, who are mainly nomadic, and the black African tribes, that are mainly farmers. This competition has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. They are also motivated by the Sudanese government who basically say, “Hey, if you attack these people, you can have their land.” There has always been a tension, but the two people have always traded with each other. So, now the Sudanese government has come in and driven a wedge between these communities—told one that they’re better, that they will support and arm them, and that they can keep the land if they go and attack these people—and for them [the Janjaweed] it’s a matter of survival. If they don’t get these resources their families will starve. Obviously there’s a difference between going and fighting for your rights and burning people alive, hacking people apart, and raping women; there is a difference there that has been part of their society and warfare for generations.

What is the process of an attack on a Darfur village?

There’s no set way. Some villages, for example, are just attacked by the Janjaweed. A large scale attack would start off first with all cell phone systems being turned off so nobody can communicate; then helicopter gunships and aircraft are launched to go bomb the villages. Following that, regular Sudanese forces, as well as Janjaweed fighting side by side, would go in and attack a village and attempt to kill, capture, and drive out anybody that they possibly can. Then the militia will take everything that they possibly can, because if they take it, they know these people can’t return and they won’t have any resources to fight back. They destroy the water wells, they take to food resources, beds and clothes, pots and pans; they try and take anything that they possibly can. Then they destroy everything that’s left that they can’t carry. Women and children obviously don’t escape the conflict in Darfur.

One of your pictures that sticks in the mind is of the one-year-old girl, Nihad, who had been shot in the back. Would you be able to tell us more about that photo?

It was interesting because—as a white male showing up in a refugee camp asking a whole group of people, “Who here is wounded?”—the child’s Aunt actually thought I was a doctor. Why else would there be this white guy who can’t speak their language asking them this? We found out that Nihad's mother was running away with her on one side and her three-year-old son, Oman, on the other. She was carrying both and was gunned down by the government. Nihad had been shot in the back, Oman had been shot in the butt, they both had shrapnel wounds on the side of their heads and Nihad had a whip mark on her neck. Their aunt had picked them up and ran away with them, leaving her sister behind. It was a very powerful moment for me and that story and that photograph has motivated people to make very serious change towards this issue.

This may seem like quite an overwhelming situation for American people, but what can we do to take this into our own hands?

It is extremely overwhelming; it’s overwhelming for me and I’ve been living and breathing Sudan for the last couple of years. One of the most important things is education. What is important is not only that people do know about the situation in Darfur, but that they educate others. Wear shirts and people can ask questions about it; those things are very, very effective. The whole reason we started HOPE was to reach people 15 to 35-year-olds because they are the leaders of tomorrow, they will be the ones running for senator and congressmen, and someday they’re going to be my president. People say, “Well, we have all these problems now in China, because of the earthquake and Burma, and all this is happening in the Congo,” and I say, “Well, what are you doing about it?” But that’s not my fight, my fight is Sudan. But if that’s your fight, then great, do something towards it, that’s all we ask people to do. Do what you do. If you are an artist, paint a picture about it; if you are a photographer, go take a picture about it; if you are a writer, write about it; if you are a musician, sing a song about it. If you’re a business owner, give away a little of your proceeds to somebody that’s trying to change the world. And if we all did just one little thing to better this world, we could make an amazing change. If you’re in a band, do just one gig and go play a concert, and give away some of your money from it—hey, give away all of your money from it! It’ll help you out in the long run and it will help people out around the world.

Say somebody is sitting here reading this and wants to do something right now, what would you suggest?

I want to encourage people to go to hopeartists.org because from there you can find links to everything. There are links to enough projects if you want to learn more about the situation in Darfur. Go buy a shirt, go wear a shirt, go get a shirt and put it on your body. Go download the album [a HOPE fundraiser album on Itunes], because those things will concretely support these people. We’re not asking you to go buy a new car, or go give your salary away. Go download a $10 album, because that $10 will go very far. Go buy the book, and don’t just hold onto it; go pass it on to somebody else. That’s the key. It’s the only way we have been able to spread the word thus far, through the pass-around.

Like you said while speaking on Capitol Hill for the 'Save Darfur' rally—“Now what”?

That feeling is still definitely there. I’m wondering when the world is going to stand up. I don’t have power over the UN to go deploy more troops or to say, “You know what, Sudanese government, you don’t have the right to say how this mission is,” but if we can influence our politicians through mass people then we can make a change. So when Common stands up on stage, he is wearing a HOPE shirt, and people say, “What is that”? Then they go and educate themselves about it, they get a shirt and put it on, they themselves become a tool for education, they themselves become a tool for change. Through that, the general citizenry of the world, I feel that we can influence this government and we can tell them. In my mind, we do rule the government. Obviously we have limited ability to do so, but we can tell them, “Hey, this is what we want,” and if the majority of people in the world stand up and say that, then it will happen.

What can we do?

There are various organizations that are campaigning for the end of the crisis in Darfur and aiding those affected by the tragedy.

HOPE (Helping Other People Everywhere)
A humanitarian organization founded by Brian Steidle and his fiancée, Andi Scull, that is focused on raising awareness and funds by empowering individuals to become involved in humanitarian causes through creative events, art, music, and action.
hopeartists.org

Global Grassroots
A non-profit organization, founded by Gretchen Steidle Wallace (Brian's sister), that invests in social entrepreneurship to advance women's wellbeing worldwide, particularly in post-conflict countries. Global Grassroots advances social change through social innovation. globalgrassroots.org

Save Darfur
The Save Darfur Coalition inspires action, raises awareness, and speaks the truth on behalf of the people of Darfur. Working with world leaders and everyday citizens, the coalition is demanding an end to the genocide.
savedarfur.org

Three Generations
Three Generations is an organization that seeks to honor those who have died as a result of genocide, support those who have survived, and record acts of genocide by connecting the past, the present, and the future. They aim to create an alliance of ideas, people, and organizations to help end genocide and crimes against humanity.
threegenerations.org

(Recent published work on Darfur. I will stick up a full transcript of the Brian Steidle interview soon as there are about ten other interesting answers that had to be cut from the story due to word count. All of the above are his own pictures*.)

*Except from the documentary covers.

New York Residents

2008-10-02T18:51:00.002-04:00

Would any of you be delightful enough to let me interrogate you via email for a minute? If yes, contact me at hannah.jenkins@gmail.com.

Staring At The Rude Boy(s)

2008-09-24T10:18:00.004-04:00

(Courtesy of Saba)

Rudy really is a stick in the mud in the morning and the afternoon, it's only when it gets dark that he's any fun lately. Probably due to the season change, the upcoming holiday and his decision to act accordingly.

His favourite thing is looking at ghosts in the corners of the room and purposely freaking everyone out. Proceeded by running around like somebody is chasing him up and down the stairs trying to shoot him in the arse.

Cats and their mental half hours are probably one of the only worldly luxuries that we can all enjoy. A moment nobody thinks too hard about. It's like a dog chasing his own tail. Everybody's happy.

I shuffled...

2008-09-23T16:26:00.003-04:00

1. Sunny Day Real Estate - 48
2. Fucked Up - Fate Of Fates
3. Poison Idea - Vietnamese Baby
4. Danzig - Soul On Fire
5. Farside - Moral Straightjacket
6. Oasis - Cast No Shadow
7. Descendents - Blast Off
8. QOTSA - You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar But I Feel Like A Millionaire
9. Kings Of Leon - Use Somebody
10. The Coral - Dreaming Of You
11. Jenny Lewis - See Fernando
12. Count Me Out - Disconnect
13. Broadcast - The Book Lovers
14. The Flirtations - What's Good About Goodbye My Love

Sporadic is nice.

Check this out and subscribe to it http://blog.favorite10.com

Personal fave underneath

This Monday

2008-09-13T00:53:00.006-04:00

We are going to be on the phone. Any question suggestions (that sounds really nice) then get in touch.

ps. Feeling slightly intimidated at the thought.

Juliana

It's been busy lately.

2008-09-10T12:42:00.007-04:00

Lil teaser.

#44

On shelves from Nov 1 -> Jan 1.

BACK

2008-09-10T12:30:00.003-04:00

AGAIN.

Been busy working hard and growing a baby. You know.

Innit

2008-07-11T12:56:00.010-04:00

Rainbow Road

2008-07-09T08:11:00.001-04:00

Thanks Kev.

Do this England

2008-07-06T15:20:00.001-04:00

R.I.P Mash and his only thought.

2008-06-10T17:04:00.006-04:00

Feel like paper today?

"Papier mache?"

It's hard to find a shady place to hide away (when the sun dries your skin and turns you from white to an unfortunate grey.)

"But he's only chewed up paper!"

(Little did they know there was more to Mash than met the eye. For behind that delicate frame lay a thought that would make you feel claustropobic for the world.)

Mash set himself on fire with a magnifying glass and the sun in the sky to hide what he knew.

Pull The Wires From The Walls

2008-05-31T00:00:00.000-04:00

In Space

2008-05-27T20:13:00.000-04:00

Proper Knackered.

2008-05-21T00:57:00.000-04:00

APETOWN - Inside The Mind Of The Monkey

2008-05-16T01:18:00.014-04:00

Apetown - The name may have proceeded him, if not, you would have seen his work. In fact you may even own a record that he designed the inlay for, or are in possession of a t-shirt he conjured up within his skull. Ape's talents also go beyond the realms of art within music - magazines, self-released zines, stickers plastered along city streets and much more. He transformed this blog from Times New Roman zero to hero with his logo (if we do say so ourselves).

Now, Belgiums most talented design monkey has just released a skateboard. Any skaters or 'I used to skate back in the day' truth-benders should look into picking one of these bad boys up. Or if you just want to be a part of history, go get yourself one.

History you say? Yes dear, history...

T and Bs took a moment with the Simian King himself to find out what else is new:

Ape! What are you doing at this moment?

Right now, I'm trying to come up with a bunch of shirt designs for Six Feet Under, Blacklisted and a local venue, and I'm also in the midst of finishing my third little zine with crappy illustrations and all.

What influences and inspires the monkey?

I dunno, pretty much anything that pops up in my head, I guess. It can be really random. I just like to draw (about) stuff that I'm into, varying from cars to my favourite football club, things I've talked about with my friends, or a line I've heard on tv or in a song. All that and other monkeys of course.

What's been going on in your world lately?

Lately, the weather out here has been real nice, so I'm enjoying it. Sitting at the dock right around the corner from my apartment with a couple of cold drinks, watching all these expensive boats, trying to come up with some witty replies that eren't even remotely close to being witty.

What are you most proud of in life?

Hmm, I don't really know. I guess I'm real proud I get to do the stuff I love to do, and sometimes get a little cash for it too. But I'd be even more happy if I ever made it so far that I can actually make a living from it all. That would be awesome.

What was your worst design job ever?

I had to make a website for this big cultural happening which takes place every summer out here in Antwerp. They didn't really have a vision on how the site should look, they just kept going on about 'orange'. So I tried a bunch of designs in a few different shades of orange, but they were never really happy. The orange was never orange enough, but when I asked them to be more precise, they couldn't give me an answer either. It was absolutely horrible.

You designed Tea and Biscuits heading, we are indebted to you for all eternity. If you had one wish that could come true what would it be?

Having a little bit more confidence would be great.

Girls in striped sweaters - Discuss.

Haha, I don't know what it is about them, they just drive me out of my mind. Lately though, they've been dying out because stripes seem to be out of fashion or something, so you don't really get to see many of them in the wild anymore. Striped sweaters combined with bangs/a fringe are lethal by the way.

Antwerp - what are the pros and cons of your city?

It's a pocket sized city, which is a pro as well as a con. Everything is close by, and you get to hang out with your friends a lot, but you also keep bumping into these mongoloids you don't really have warm feelings for. I guess that goes for pretty much any (European) city though.I wouldn't want to live in another place in Belgium, it's great here. Antwerpians have always been real proud of their town and their heritage, and I'm just happy to oblige.

What record do you think you have listened to most frequently in the past decade?

This is such a tough one, because I always go through these fases. Let's see, Damnation a.d.'s 'Kingdom Of Lost Souls' and Coalesce's '001', 'Functioning on Impatience' and 'Give Them Rope' have definitely been a big part of this decade. Apart from that, a lot of Joy Division and The Smiths was played as well.But the records that have been played most, truthfully, are probably Autechre's 'LP5', 'Tri Repetae' and 'Chiastic Slide'.

What's next?

Well, I've just released a skateboard, which I'm totally psyched about. Let's hope they sell good. Apart from that and the little zine, which should be finished sometime soon too, I'm hoping a few new shirts will make their appearance in the near future.

FUN

2008-04-30T14:16:00.011-04:00

We took a few minutes with The Abbot to discuss Real Golds debut publication 'Fun' which is out now. It is avaliable for free from various noted locations in London (The ICA, Fred Perry, The Macbeth, up and down sex alley in Soho and more). If you're from another area or country, get it ordered from their online store. World domination is imminent.

What's good?

FUN Magazine Issue 1

What's FUN?

A really good magazine that is published by Real Gold

What is and who are Real Gold?

Real Gold is a London art collective, founded in late 2006. There's about 10 of us. Every single member has been in prison, mainly for GBH. The collective spotlights stuff we like.

What do you do for thrills and excitement?

I personally like putting peanut better in my ear.

What are you listening to?

The Train Chronicles, Shitting Fists, Dream Tennis and Loverman

What does the future have in store for FUN/RG?

FUN is going to get a lot bigger as soon as we have the funding. More pages. Real Gold is curating a couple of art shows across in the UK and Europe.

What the fuck?

I know. Total fuck. Very fuck.

http://www.greatenjoyment.com/

http://www.wearerealgold.com/

NYC

2008-04-14T01:25:00.003-04:00

Yesterday.

Hospitality and photography by Andrea Acs.

Riaow Riiiiaow Safari Hands

2008-04-02T13:06:00.013-04:00

RICH MEN WITH WEAK HEARTS

2008-03-26T00:43:00.002-04:00

Salutations suckers

MODERN HATE VIBE

2008-03-20T11:10:00.007-04:00

Modern Hate Vibe is an intelligent and funny hardcore-based fanzine from the UK written by the hilarious wonder that is Bryony, a new Londoner via Brighton who was born and raised in Wales (dragons/daffodils/leeks/Public Disturbance). Alongside Doghead, MHV will hopefully pioneer the revival of fanzine making in the UK (Club Stupid salad days mark 2). Or at very least they have set a high standard and example for the future.

When she's not got her hands glued together and covered in tippex, Bryony also sings in a band called The Sceptres who sound like "hardcore kids trying to play pop music without straying anwhere near pop punk" they are recording soon, perhaps as we speak.

Find them on myspace.

TandBs sat down with Bryony for an ickle exchange about MHV, London, Spike Lee and the future. Get your hands on Modern Hate Vibe.

Dear Bryony, Where are you from and what do you do?

Hello Hannah! I r South Wales born and bred, although I am not 100% dragon's blood cos my moms is from Kent. I moved to Brighton a couple years ago though and just recently moved to Big London Town. I do all kinds of business some of it top secret others over-publicised to the point of it being burnt into peoples brains, but by day I am a Tech PR Consultant (I actually only just got my job after an insane few weeks of interviews) and by night I am an unhinged croon-wizard for some Sceptres.

How would you summarise MHV?

I had to do this for some MRR scene report and I said:bilious brighton-based bore-bashing brainbomb barrage by bryony beynon. sad tales of one girl's everyday struggle to remove her tongue from her cheek. first issue december '07. expect nice design and nasty talk, interviews with Cold Ones, the Shitty Limits and more later, like a how-to of hardcore careerism, a guide to thomas pynchon, spike lee's best bits and various ruminations on the underrated, overrated, venerated and oughta-be-cremated from the last 30 years of good music.

Also:

a) high contrast / low rent

b) high expectations / low yield

c) high-end clothing / low frequency music

d) high life / lo-life

really just a print version of my constant 'wah-wah' so that for a little while, people don't have to tolerate the low-hum of bullshit emanating from my person quite so much.

What has the reaction to MHV been like?

Generally really positive, a lot of people were kind of shocked for some reason, I guess I tend to stand at the sidelines of everything being a snide bint, which isn't a nice trait, but can be quite funny when put in print. One of my oldest friends said 'Jesus BB, If i didn't know you and I read this I'd think you were a horrid bitch' I've met some kindred spirits through doing it and people being like 'holy shit i think the exact same' which is ace, but the biggest reaction is people saying 'i think i'm gonna do a zine now' which is so cool, not that it was totally inspirational or something, just that it quite clearly showed what a piece of piss it is. Everyone should.

How has London been since you moved there? A + top 5 and a - top 5 would be splendid.

1) Brixton

++++++I love it here, people sing in the street and I buy my veg on electric avenue and I get jah blessed by strangers at least three times on my way to and from the bus stop.

------ I got harshed on by a nasty old fella who put his hands down my trousers (ok i might have an ass that won't quit but come on..) and followed me to my door in the first week we lived here, also found a used hypodermic INSIDE my handbag on the way to work.. major fear!

2)Shopping

+++++++ Shitting hell, can i get a FLAG SHIP?! Swooning over lovely things in Hideout and Dover Street Market and copping vintage polo on Brick Lane yes yes yes

------ Cos its so much bigger I'm yet to get wise to local knowledge about secret little places and you're much less likely to saunter into town and find awesome shops randomly, also motherFUCK the queues in selfridges, its as if they want you to steal!

3) People

+++++++ Its not like Brighton at all in that you've got to arrange hangouts much further in advance and thats good because people make more effort to explicitly set time aside for their friendships, very important. I have met LOTS of lovely folk since moving and hope to continue this trend!

------ Same deal really, it takes an organised broad to get hangouts set up in advance which can leave me with America's Next Top Model and a brew and no one but Tyra to share it with, no good!

4)Food

+++++ Tai Veg.

----- Tai Veg.I really really like Eating, everyone who knows me knows this, and while initially the novelty of freely available vegan food in the middle of town was an intense as the MSG high it provides, I am now shit-bored of it. Mildreds is real but I need more good eateries!

5)Hardcore

+++++ GSOH. The 12 Bar. Ola. Steven O'brien. Dirty Money. 3MNK. Bigger turnouts, more people, more ignorant moshing.

----- the Grosvenor (so good in theory, so shit to play there in reality, fuck!) Ridiculous laziness, proliferation of shitty bands being given a chance just because they exist. NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

What are you ruminating on right now?

Just thinking more about that last question, I've yet to find an equivalent to the cowley club in London which is silly really (http://www.cowleyclub.org.uk) me and my former housemate/current bandmate volunteer/put on shows at this place in Brighton) Like last year we organised a 3 day fest of radical workshops and uk hardcore bands like Braindead, Shitty Limits, The Shitty Limits, and Frightener in May 2007 and it was so much fun, they're planning on doing one again this year and i'm kind of getting involved from afar but i really want to find somewhere in London thats got scope for that sort of gubbins, punk-run spaces are so good for hardcore, no bouncers or bullshit and just complete control, I do like a bit of control me.

I am also ruminating on the veganicity of 2nd hand Air Max and the beauty of those Marc Jacobs Blondie T-shirts and whether I can justify $150 dollars. Life is full of tough questions!

You sing in a band called The Sceptres, how would the NME describe your sound and how would YOU describe your sound?

The NME would be jizzing hard, i've heard they find it quite easy to get behind overweight overopinionated frontwomen, oh, wait, ditto, snap, Ditto, what? Haha, god i hate that shitrag. They would, yes, maybe say we sound like the Gossip, I would maybe tell them to fuck themselves. They were mean to Morrisey! Ummm we sound like hardcore kids trying to play pop music without straying anywhere near pop punk. Stuff like B52s, The Wipers, X, Giles says we sound like this band called Tyrades although i've not heard them, maybe a little like that scandi stuff like Gorilla Angreb and the Bombettes..pretty soon i.e. two weeks I won't have to do this no more because we're recording proper-style, analogue and everything!!

What are you listening to?

Blur! I totally rekindled my love for them after we did a roadtrip to Nottingham and Rosie had a blur best of in the car, what a great band. I've been getting my riff on to Big Business although i have a weird pain mental association with them because that is all tattooists ever seem to play? I've had the New Breed comp (Abso-bloody-lution) on a fair bit, Tegan and Sara, Ghostface as always oh and Patrick Wolf because he's amazing and I'd like to do a sex with him.

I like your use of tippex...

I LOVE ITTT. I used to paint my bitten-down tom boy nails with it in school and get in all kinds of bad trouble. I didn't invert any of the pages in MHV so where its black on white i've had some serious get-high fun.

What are you enjoying in England at the moment?

Not being a Temp anymore, my recent discovery of Singstar for the PS2 (basically karaoke but drunk it feels like some kind of incredible life-trial), the gradual onset of slightly warmer weather which means my creased-up-excema-dry-face is going into retirement for the spring thank god, oh and not strictly England but Welsh hardcore finally getting its rep back after what has felt like decades of straightened hair in the principality, people need to listen to IRONCLAD (causin public disturbance in 2008) because it has some of the best welsh to ever not really be welsh (Owain) and Tom, Cap'n Evs, the best thing to ever come out of Neath (Neathiopia, googlemaps that shit) http://www.myspace.com/ironcladhc

Does MHV have a future, if so...what's ahead?

4DEF. ish 2 out for Spring, interviews with DFJ/Mind Eraser, Tom Campbell of Mob Rules, and 'that' Last Chance insert, Frightener US Tour Report (the 'fun' perspective) and lots more on prohibitively rare records and prohibitively expensive clothing, in jokes, outros, more semi-explicit date requests (pimping myself into oblivion) more/better reviews, as ever no recipes, no mosh-waggotry, no Times new roman, all hype. Later on in 2008 Expect something very special that will come with your zine that you can maybe listen to, out for Summer.

What is Spike Lee's #1 best bit?

Well, objectively 'that' Advert is his own personal best bit (is it the shoes?) but my head is spinning with them at the moment cos i'm putting the finishing touches to a top notch list for issue two so you'll have to wait on that! I will say that Inside Man is underrated as much as Jodie Foster kind of makes my skin crawl, AND that i am so SO pysched for his next one 'Miracle at St. Anna' since the stills went up on IMDB! Its got Gandolfini, Turturro, there are black dudes, its World War Two, oh shit. Band of Brothers, but like, actual Brothers. amazing. CANNOT WAIT.

OUTRO: You're excellent, thankyou, spread love in the W-B! xxxx

www.myspace.com/thesceptresthesceptres

In the depth of winter

2008-03-11T20:27:00.002-04:00

I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

Doghead -The Monad

2008-02-01T09:38:00.000-05:00

Tea and Biscuits spent some virtual time with Mike, Doghead author and stellar BFF, asking him a few questions about the new zine he's just put out.

(Here's the author in the air).

(Here's the author on the ground).

Hi mate, what's Doghead?

Doghead is a self-published journal, also known as a zine, that I, Michael Edward Carver esquire, philanthropist and mountaineer, am putting out into the void, an intellectual call in the hope of hearing an echo.

Since you started selling them at the start of the weekend, what has the reaction to it been like?

The reaction has been very good, as hoped. I only had 100 printed and I've shifted two thirds of that. In less than a week. What people have been saying so far is quite encouraging too, 'not what I was expecting' seeming to be a common reflection. It's all mostly by post as well, as I've not been at any gigs to sell them yet.

Was that what you were expecting?

Expecting, no, but hoping, yes. I really didn't want this to be another zine with interviews with bands to fill pages, and reviews of records everyone probably already owns. I hope that this is an indication that a zine can be about anything at all, and still be enjoyable to read.

Where does the name 'Doghead' come from?

Doghead stems from my favourite book of last year, 'And the Ass Saw the Angel' by Nick Cave. I've not been so affected by a book in aeons. I won't spoil the story for those who haven't read it, but it's a southern gothic tale that revolves around abandonment, cruelty, and isolation, and what that can do to a mind. It's funny, brutal and sad in all the right places. Anyway, Doghead is this shanty town the main character builds when everything goes to hell. He believes himself to be the king, and all his subjects are these rabid dogs and other dying animals that he catches in traps and then starves and dopes up on drugs so one day he can unleash them on the town below when the time is right.

What are you excited about these days?

Joining the dots mostly. I just love finding things out, whether its science, history, philosophy, anything. Everytime I figure out, or learn, how something else works, I feel like that's another of life's mysteries I don't have to keep awake mulling over anymore. The older you get, the more you learn. I can't wait to be an old man so all the mysteries there are to me now I can pass on to people through stories and suchlike.

What is disgusting these days?

Just the continued cruelty we inflict on each other and ourselves. We've lost our sense of altruism and our sense of adventure. We're too cynical to see the magic in the world, but at the same time we're too stupid and trusting to see 'the man' trip us up at every turn. There's too many things to cry over in the world, I hope one day the good things can outweigh the bad. There's this photo I've got of a pitbull that was taken shortly before it was put down due to the injuries it sustained in dogfighting competitions. Its face is all cut and bleeding, all the fur's been ripped off, but it's looking straight at you, through the camera lens, this now-dead dog. I can't stop looking at it, it just seems to sum up everything that's wrong with this world.

What is written about in Doghead?

A bit of everything really. That's what 'The Monad', the title of my first issue, comes from. How everything is related. Even if something is bland and commonplace, or at the other end of the scale, strange and out of the ordinary, there is some sort of intrinsic link from one thing to another. So this issue looks at all sorts of things really, questions of existence, of morality, there's some creative writing in there too. I hope it doesn't sound complicated and dense to people, because the aim of this was putting out some big questions that plague my mind, putting a message out, 'I'm here, this is how I feel, join me if you feel the same'. I want it to be the zine equivalent of a hand coming from the side of a boat to pull people into the cold.

Any new projects in the works?

A few actually. I'm already working on the second issue of doghead, which if the first issue is anything to go by, should be out just before the end of the world. It's going to come with a demo of a project I've been working on for a while called La Bas. There's no wheel re-invention involved, just 4 chords used in different combinations over 6 songs and some fast drum fills. If you like Haymaker you'll dig it. Also starting a new band which is going to be in the vein of Outspoken and Strife, pure 90's, Ian Wiles on vocals, gonna be straight edge as hell. Finally there's a few stories I've been working on since forever, couple of novels and a book of short stories. None of them are even close to completion, but I'm excited about them, I take the dogs for walks so I can formulate more ideas in my head!

Anything else you would like to add?

Not really me old mucker, just if anyone's interested with anything I've said here, in my zine, or anywhere else, please get in touch. Communication is a skill we can't forget how to use!

nanu nanu .

Doghead has been out since last Friday, there aren't many left so if you'd like some enlightenment contact Mike (Americans, he accepts payment in Twizzlers).

www.myspace.com/dogheadxindustries

fortress_of_solitude@hotmail.com

STATISTICS

2008-01-28T10:13:00.000-05:00

Source: Kev.

http://wigu.com/dump/rambo.jpg

Or click to enlarge

Summertime

2008-01-26T12:22:00.000-05:00

SHUT UP BILLY HOYLE AND JAM

2008-01-25T09:08:00.000-05:00

RIFF REVISITED.

Helpless Romantic update.

2008-01-24T16:15:00.000-05:00

Buy some lovely things:

"it is a mere 3 weeks till perhaps the most feared holiday of the year, and in tribute to the day some special things have been cooked up at HR,and are now ready to order"

For more go to www.helplessromantic.co.uk

Add their myspace: www.myspace.com/helplessromanticshop

Doghead

2008-01-22T22:14:00.000-05:00

This potential masterpiece is out on Friday. Like a hurricane to the face as made by Mike.

Paypal one pound and fifty pence to fortress_of_solitude@hotmail.com

And ah took a bone... a skull... and called the kingdom. DOGHEAD.

Shi Mian Mai Fu

2008-01-21T13:55:00.000-05:00

'House Of Flying Daggers' - Directed by Zhang Yimou ('Hero', 'Raise The Red Lantern').

Yes.

REASONS WHY:
Most of the film is set outdoors and every frame looks like a piece of art. Fight scenes. The love. Bamboo cages. Ziyi Zhang. Echo game at Peony Palace. The fact that 'Jin' is also know as 'Wind'. Double-crossing. Triple-crossing. Secret Agents. Takeshi Kaneshiro. Taking a bath in a river. Andy Lau. Colours. The sound of bamboo splintering. Nia. The costumes. Mei. Flying daggers. Ricocheting arrows. Mandarin. Field love. Flying soldiers. Stick fighting. Unisex bamboo pole-dancing.

This film is aesthetically perfect. However it has been slightly discredited by some reviewers, commenting that it is overstylised and lacks the depth of the comparable contemporary Chinese blockbuster, Ang Lee's 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon'.

A case of style over substance perhaps? Or do we just rely too heavily on dialogue to tell our stories?

Fringes

2008-01-21T09:15:00.000-05:00

Like putting a blanket on your brain.

Moolah

2008-01-21T08:45:00.000-05:00

Dirty Money as photographed by Gavin Watson for Vice UK.

www.myspace.com/thedirtymoney

www.myspace.com/gavinwatsonskins

http://www.viceland.com/

What is it about...

2008-01-19T22:53:00.000-05:00

...'KEEP OUT' signs that are so alluring?

Above is a house down the street, covered in 'KEEP OUT' signs.

This makes me think that it is haunted.

The Future Is Unwritten

2008-01-19T21:51:00.000-05:00

www.joestrummerthemovie.com

www.strummerville.com

Oh love, luck and money they go to my head like wildfire.

2008-01-18T17:40:00.000-05:00

M.I.A. for Marc Jacobs

2008-01-17T17:51:00.001-05:00

Here is Maya Arulpragasam modelling the S/S '08 early nineties-menswear inspired collection for Marc Jacobs.

She was picked by Jacobs alongside Victoria Beckham. Amusing photo...

See, all British have a sense of humour, even Posho.

Harmony Korine completes the threesome. The director of controversial films like Gummo, Julien Donkey Boy and Kids looks at home packing away a burger for Jacobs' menswear shoot.

Pictures by Juergen Teller (who has shot all of the Marc jacobs ads as of '05).

http://www.marcjacobs.com/

http://www.designboom.com/portrait/teller_biography.html

A joke?

2008-01-16T03:42:00.000-05:00

Or have I missed some underlying fantasy-realm reason to explain why this film was so horrible?

And when did Ray Liotta turn into Gary Glitter?

(so frightening)

Aitor Throup

2008-01-15T23:25:00.000-05:00

Aitor Throup stood out last year as one of the most promising young menswear designers to come out of England. He was one of the lucky few picked to create a capsule collection for Topmans' MAN show at London Fashion Week for Autumn/Winter '07 and Spring/Summer '08.

(Which is a big bloody deal).

First and foremost Throups' passion is drawing. He incorporates a fascination with anatomy and a focus on exploration of the human body to seek a reason to create and design functional outerwear inspired by companies such as Stone Island and C P Company (whom he used to work for in-store at the height of it's popularity with football fans). And breathe...

Throup’s vivid imagination gives birth to characters and stories that would not be misplaced in a graphic novel (he actually has a graphic novel coming out in the future apparently). His three-stage process of Drawing, Sculpture and Garment is quite unique, as are his stories that come hand in hand with his shows. Aitor's MA show was entitled "When Football Hooligans Become Hindu Gods" and was viewed as "a three-dimensional comic" about redemption, transformation and transcendance.

Since graduating he has worked with Levi's, Adidas, Umbro and Evisu London as well as continuing with his three-stage process for his own work.

A pic from his S/S '08 collection for MAN:

Look out and into the future for more of his work, if you really care to. All you people partial to a spot of Stone Island, don't say we didn't warn you!

http://www.aitorthroup.com/

also check out:

http://www.topmanzine.com/

(trust us, boyo, you need it).

The fridge door

2007-12-23T11:45:00.000-05:00

(From top left, going clockwise)

1. This is a beautiful picture that is used as a reminder for my boyfriend to master his choking techniques.

2. My blokes' band playing CBGB's (RIP). http://www.cbgb.com/ . I feel like everyone in this picture is topless and glowing. I notice people constantly side-glancing at this photo when they come over, especially if they've never been to a hardcore show.

3. Two photobooth photos taken with a great friend at Coney Island right in front of The Wonder Wheel. They're black and white and rather interesting. Coney Island has been knocked down, I find that depressing and hopeless.

4. Hershey Park Summer '07, most rain I have ever seen. The paths were flooded, the rides shut down, most people were miserable. I was bullied '101 ways with water' for three hours straight. A daily reminder to sharpen up my bully retorts.

5. Polaroids are so nice. They're like a little present. They've been pretty much ruined by cool people but no matter what I hope we can all still appreciate their wonder and simplicity. This is a picture of my brother with my three nieces crawling all over him - four of the most important things in England that I think about.

6. The cat. Cat's always have a plan, just look into their eyes, you'll see what I mean.

7. Here is a close up of the last picture...

...as if I need reminding.

Yasuko Dann (nee. Yamamoto)

2007-12-21T06:47:00.000-05:00

My Mum just sent me this photo. It's of my Grandma when she was about ten years old, so I guess that means the picture was taken around 1933.

My Nan is the girl in the top left of the photo and the woman is apparently my great great grandmother. The boy and the baby are apparent distant relatives called Kunio and Yuchan and I'm not quite sure who the angry small girl is!

So this was Iwakuni, Japan, nearly seventy-five years ago. The culture is a million miles from what we know of Japan today, and one thousand light-years from what we know in the West.

My Grandmothers' story is an interesting one and has been told througout my family many times. She became a teacher in Iwakuni, then Osaka and Tokyo but always taught in a fashion that was considered quite 'radical' in late 40's Japan. From a young age she was nicknamed 'ChoCho' which means 'Butterfly' due to her dream-like qualities and skittish, naughty behaviour. Her teachings led her to be blacklisted on all of the school board lists. To this day I'm not quite sure how she taught people, or what about, but I know that for a young female teacher to be struck down onto the authority's shitlist was considered quite controversial.

At this moment I could sidetrack into many other stories she told me of our family in old Japan, like her Grandfather who was also a teacher who used to stop himself from falling asleep in class by putting matchsticks in his eyes. Or perhaps when she went to a relatives funeral and spent the whole afternoon practicing her cartwheels in a dress. But I wont digress.

In the early 50's she met my Grandfather who was an army medic stationed out in Asia. He was as English as they come and was born within the sound of the Bow bells, so considered a true cockney. How they fell in love I don't know as I can't imagine the conversation flowing! But they did, enough for my Grandmother to move out to the army base in Singapore with him and that's where my Mum was born.

After a couple of years living back in Iwakuni with a baby, the pressures of an interracial marriage were upon them. Even now in rural and suburban Japan, 'Geijin' (foreigners) can be marvelled at, looked-at strangely, and aren't thought of as marriage material. Over fifty years ago, it wasn't even considered! So my Grandparents eloped to England.

After facing the pressures of traditional Japanese culture and they travelled across continents to begin a new life in sunny Margate.

One thing I have always tried to be aware of was how hard it must have been for my Grandmother. To move to seaside England on the cusp of the 60's, a Japanese woman, married to a white Englishman. I could imagine that the least of her worries were 'what will the neighbours think?'.

Without going into incredible detail, within fifteen years of living in the balmy South-East of England, my Grandmother achieved so much. She learnt a whole new language, gave birth to and brought up six children, moved around the area at least twenty times and continued to write reams of letters and educate her family of her own culture. She had no contact from her own family in Japan for over twenty years due to her move and the onous on family pride in Japan. Her husband died in the mid seventies. Obviously, I never met him, but I know that he was a fast kind of guy who sung jazz and graced clubs like Ronnie Scott's in its heyday.

It's hard not to romanticise this story as I admit I have done so in my head plenty of times.

No matter what happened my Nan kept-on and achieved more in her lifetime than most. She stayed in England and her sister from Japan contacting her years beforehand to make peace. Visits were made between both sides of the family until she passed away about twelve years ago.

Seven years after she died I went to Japan and visited her shrine at a Temple on top of a hill in Iwakuni. The honour of remembering her passing was evident and I felt proud to have been there with my family. The clash of cultures is so apparent, still, alongside our family, there is something inexplicable that pulls all of us towards Japan.

If you saw her in the street in Thanet in the 90's, shopping or catching the bus with her family, my Grandmother would be considered quite ordinary. An elderly asian lady who lived in the flat above the butchers', opposite the cinema, who liked to knit toys for her grandchildren and have a good roast dinner.

Little would anybody know that the story of how she got there was so extraordinary.

Dear world wide web

2007-12-16T14:21:00.000-05:00

T and Bs is BACK

"YES MAAAAAAAAAATE"

Good Nightmoon

2007-11-19T05:57:00.001-05:00

Elgin James (guitarist of Righteous Jams, former frontman of 454 Big Block, Wrecking Crew, the World Is My Fuse, Jaded Salingers) new film, "Good Nightmoon," is now available through ThinkFilms, on movie click. The film was written and directed by Elgin, and stars Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy and Bonnie Muirhead from the reality show, Hell's Kitchen.

Download Film

Comin' up

2007-11-15T20:44:00.000-05:00

TREE MAN

2007-11-15T09:03:00.000-05:00

'ave a word.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/12/wtree112.xml

From The Telegraph newspaper online.

JONESTOWN

2007-11-13T16:06:00.000-05:00

"All it is, is taking a drink to take... to go to sleep. That's what death is, sleep."

This week, twenty-nine years ago, 909 people (including 287 children) died in Jonestown, Guyana.

Jonestown was founded by the People's Temple of California and was presided over by a man called James Warren "Jim" Jones (pictured above).

It is reported that they committed mass cult-suicide. But realistically, Jones committed mass murder.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonestown

LUCY DARKNESS

2007-11-11T17:47:00.000-05:00

This is my mate Lucy King, she does very well for herself by putting make-up and prosthetics on people and making them look dead or like monsters for magazines and musical acts, all under the 'guise of 'Lucy Darkness' . She is truly living her dream.

Sometimes I accuse Lucy of being a pretend goth as she's always laughing and it sounds like Kris Akabusi on acid. But, after living with her a couple of times, let me tell you that she is 100% evil knievil. The confusion also sprung from when she dallied with listening to Power Metal (Power Metal: imagine a carnival coming out of the worst part of a computer and every carni in the parade had mesh fingerless gloves on).

But, at the end of the day, does Kris Akabusi have inverted crosses tattooed behind his ears? I think not...

I caught up with her in transit over a cup of tea to ask her a few questions about what's going on in her life over Halloween...and this is how she turned up. :

(Can't take that bloody knobhead anywhere without her GOFFIN the place up. Love it!)

Who is Lucy Darkness?

A Prosthetic Makeup Artist with a vividly imaginative childs brain and a vat of blood. A whole heap of trouble with an infectious laugh.

What is LucyDarkness.com?

Lucydarkness.com is a opportunity for me to showcase my work. You can google my name and it comes up, how cool is that?! I have a portfolio that is open for all to view; a news page, soon to be full of me dribbling on about how much i love making people look dead and mouldy, I am using it as a blog of my experiences in the makeup industry. Kinda like a chronicle of a struggling makeup artist. I have a links page containing all my friends sites that i think people should visit.

How long have you been a make up artist/interested in makeup?

I have had aspirations of becoming a prosthetic makeup artist longer than I've known what one was. So I guess ive been a makeup artist in thought for donkeys years. It came from studying and working in theatre and performing arts. I grew up wanting to be involved with theatre and film so as i grew i learnt my strengths and weaknesses. I've accepted now that I'm not much of an actor, even though i would still like to act as a profession i am more realistic than that. I'd end up being in the same position as Joey from Friends! I found out that sculpture and props were a strength through working as stage crew on various ameteur productions. So I applied to London College of Fashion and that lead me here.

You also have experience in prosthetics...whats been the most fun thing you have had to make for someone?

I love doing prosthetic makeup! Geoff Portass, the prosthetic makeup artist from Hellraiser(1-3) and most recently Wilderness taught me everything technical about prosthetics! My favourite most successful piece I did in the past couple of years is for Nosferatu. It was a photo shoot concept that i designed myself. One of my friends, Olli Brignal, modelled for it. He was Nosferatu. It was the first time he'd worn makeup let alone a full face prosthetic, but he was very patient and never complained, well, except when he couldn't have a cigarette! Imagine if the piece caught fire?! I also love the burns makeup i did on Laura Eva.

Ideally, if you could do the makeup for one monster/horror film character who would it be and why?

I'd devise my own character! I'd love to have free reign over a concept, but you rarely have that chance because the director already has the idea in his or her head, but thats not to say that you can't put your own thoughts into the mix. Ideally, i would love to write, direct and create the concept and makeup for a film. I know I'd be dead busy but it would be a labour of love.

You have video and music shoot experience, what's been your favourite professional experience so far?

I dont think I've ever not enjoyed working with makeup so this is a tricky one. I love working with the Deathstars, just because they are such characters. If you work with someone repeatedly you build such a rapor that sometimes it feels like they are family. The singer 'Whiplasher' ('WHIPLASHER'?? - TandBs), as he is known in the Deathstars, has almost become a brother figure when he is about. I always feel comfortable around him despite his public persona, as an out of control rock star.

What's your playlist right now?

I've been listening to the new Darkthrone quite a lot. It's brilliant. It's total punk rock. You can hear that they are having the best time recording it. There are loads of embellishments that almost sound like they recorded this album when they were completly wasted. Imagine, recording when you a inebriated and waking up the next day and thinking 'what did I do last night?' then you play back the tape....'I made some fucking sweet tunes!'

How was Halloween for you? did you celebrate it accordingly?

Halloween was cool. I always get a little too excited and end up being disappointed. Me and the ball n chain stayed in; carved our pumpkins, scared the little kids at the door trick or treating and then watched the final night of Most Haunted Halloween Live. It was brilliant this year, Most Haunted i mean. The ghosts were whistling to Evie! Too good. If you haven't seen Most Haunted yet, please do so! It's got better now that the charlatan, Derek Acorah, has been fired. He was pretending.

Any last words?

FAIR!

LINKS:

http://www.lucydarkness.com/
http://www.livingtv.co.uk/mosthaunted/
http://www.derekacorah.org/

Under Construction

2007-11-07T08:28:00.000-05:00

A preview of Lucy King (everyone's favourite goth)'s work in makeup and prosthetics for gory, nasty, bastard stuff.

A look at her new website, work and videos. Very suitable for the time of year.

(Lucy is Rob Zombie, but fit).

(And she also has boobies and was born in Kent.)

HALLOWEEN SQUARED.

2007-11-02T15:12:00.000-04:00

Halloween.

It's lovely isn't it.

As each year passes the witching holiday is becoming a bigger event for the English. I have always seen Halloween as being more of an American celebration, but these days, the onus of leadership has fallen on our generation to bringforth the 31st of October as an important night of revellery in England. I see Halloween as one massive mess of good excuses, here are a few of them:

Positive - "Halloween is an excuse...."

To dress up as strangely as possible.
To have lots of fun and cause mischief.

To live your dreams (see above post).
To attempt to scare the shite out of people.
For people to use if the police try and question you for throwing eggs in peoples' hair (really).
To give young people sweeties and not be arrested for it Gary Glitter style.
To make up ghost stories and pretend they are real.
For men to wear makeup.
For pumpkins to be sold.....what else are they really used for in England? Certainly not cooking.
To get a good nose into your neighbours' houses when you bring your little cousins trick or treating around your area.

Negative - "Halloween is an excuse...":

For clever businesses to rinse us of our cash.
For knobs to act like knobs, in costumes.

But, let's focus on the FUN.

Best geeks.

They were miming 'CHEEEEESE'

Pee Wee was intefering with himself at the back of the party all night

The demurest brain haemorrhage in England <3.

Positively frightening.

Maggie Cutie

Ann Summers.

Papping Winehouse!

Hellish.

I couldn't possibly unleash a photo of myself on here as my costume was too frightening for words.

Devil Rabbit Dog

2007-10-28T21:25:00.001-04:00

Cute.

Not so cute.

DUTTY BREAD

2007-10-28T21:09:00.000-04:00

Graham - "fuck the weeeeeeeeeeeerld"

James - "come on lad, get up, im gonna throw you at that boy opposite me"

Rob - "hmmmmph"

Dearlove (out of shot) - "safe, safe bruv, safe"

Sheep - "this isn't earth crisis?"

Graham again - "FUCK THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERLD"

www.myspace.com/thedirtymoney

Albion

2007-10-25T18:37:00.000-04:00

Pete Doherty, you love him or you hate him. Controversy has surrounded the ex-Libertine for an annoying amount of time now, mainly focusing on his drug-use and his doomed relationship with Englands' heroine and top model Kate Moss.

He's a wanker alright, but obviously his brain is meandering on the verge of insanity, perhaps genius.

Here he is being interviewed by MTV in 1997 waiting in line to buy the Oasis album 'Be Here Now'. He was a fresh faced boy, definitely pre-drugs and this was way before he was a face in our papers, way before The Libertines.

However, he still succeeds in spouting a lot of shit!

www.babyshambles.net
www.thelibertines.org.uk

HALLOWEEN

2007-10-25T17:03:00.000-04:00

Last year I went to my first Horror Hall in PA, I was so frightened, it was so real (life...I mean real life).

This year I will be in London and it'll be my last Halloween here for a long time, so I'm going to try and document it - Find people with great costumes, find people who suffer from lack of effort (Halloween Scrooges), find some fun places to go, haunt a few people. You know the drill.

I hope that you all will be as ghoulish as possible this upcoming week.

I dont blame you

2007-10-23T17:55:00.000-04:00

Donovan, NO!

2007-10-08T12:19:00.000-04:00

Meddling round the bookshelves of the production company I'm currently working sporadically for whilst I'm back in the most beautiful country known to man, I came across back issues of 'The Face' from 1993. I cast my eye, in particular, to the September '93 issue which included a Nirvana interview, a feature on a 19yr old Dave Chappelle, a Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer interview and amazing pics of them with cabaret girls all decked-out in feathers and spangles. There's so much more stuff that I found interesting as hell and I think you would too. I guess I could scan the pages in for all five of your to read, but in real life, if I'm going to be completely honest with myself, that's not going to happen.

Jason Donovan – blondie, clean cut, Kylie -loving, Aussie changeling superstar became a drug-addled, cross-dressing C-lister through the course of the 90's, and a very famous libel case against 'The Face' served as the straw that broke the camels' back.

In '92 Jase became the victim of a rather controversial poster campaign created by (I actually don't know who!). They featured posters of well-known celebrities with the words "Queer as Fuck" brandished underneath. Posters featuring him were slathered all over the outside of the London Palladium where he was starring in 'Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat'.

The Face documented the campaign in an issue of their, then, incredibly popular magazine. They wrote that he wasn't gay, but reproduced the poster on its pages. He sued the shit out of them for libel. His barrister claimed that, even though the magazine never accused him of homosexuality, they implied it by saying that Donovan had 'bleached-blonde hair' and that was a well known 'code' for being gay (just like 'tired and emotional' is for being hammered).

Weak case? Even so, Jason the megastar won substantial damages which left the magazine on the verge of bankruptcy and himself being licked by the flames of celebrity damnation.

He lost a huge chunk of his fanbase and was accused of being greedy. He lost nearly every ounce of respect he had mustered up from non teeny-boppers by suing an incredibly influential magazine. The court case isolated him from the very people that he was trying to reach (in the 90's Jason was desperately trying to make the transition from teen Smash Hits heart-throb into magazines like The Face). Most notably, he lost the majority of his huge gay following.

The Face set up 'The Lemon Aid' fund which was donated-to by readers and more to keep them above water. The fund was named so due to Jason insisting in court that he used lemon juice in his hair….not bleach (alright then Jase, jog on).

Donovan waived a chunk of the libel fees but nothing could repair the damage he had done to his reputation. Thus, he slipped down "THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF DRUGS, BOOZE AND SHAME", apparently.

No matter what he did to try and regain his cred (starring as overtly camp characters on stage, even trying to buy The Face when it was in problematic times) nothing could erase the damage done or win back his gay following. While The Face went from strength to strength in the '90s...

Jason was well and truly snookered.

Nowadays, I don't know, I'm still not convinced by Jason Donovan. To be honest it's not to do with his battle with the now extinct magazine (RIP) but moreso to do with the fact that he will always be Scott from Neighbours and the master of all that is cheesy in my eyes. He makes me cringe no matter what he gets up to and that's unfortunate for me as maybe I'm missing out on a whole world of light entertainment.

But quite frankly, as long as Peep Show and Tyra Banks are in the world. I couldn't care less.

awww kittens

2007-10-05T18:15:00.000-04:00

Who wants a bit of Gary Grice?

2007-10-03T10:28:00.000-04:00

"Just on Sale! GZA will be performing Liquid Swords, as part of the Don't Look Back 2007 Season.

After the success at our Don't Look Back day at Pitchfork festival, we have managed to persuade GZA across the pond to perform his classic, Liquid Swords in London.

The show will take place on Sunday 9th December at Koko, tickets are £15."

The Seal Dribble

2007-10-02T18:44:00.000-04:00

19yr old Kerlon has been hailed as the new Ronaldinho. The video underneath shows him demonstrating 'the seal dribble' where he flicks the ball up to his head and bounces it on his forehead it as he's running past the opposition. I think the best thing about this move is how remarkable it looks and also that it draws fouls, it's hard to challenge legally when the ball is being maintained above head height!

"It's just a skill I have, though it's not meant to be a mark of disrespect for my opponents. Opponents say they will snap me. But this doesn’t scare me it just motivates me even more" - Kerlon

Steven from Sheffield

2007-09-30T06:01:00.000-04:00

Can't believe i've never seen this before. Thanks Leo Goyus.

Tighto

2007-09-29T10:02:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Hovey aka. Warm'ed

FTWeeeeeeeerld

2007-09-27T21:22:00.000-04:00

13.10 @ Exhaus kl – Trier (GER) w/ Sinking Ships, Ruiner
14.10 @ Wild Rover – Aachen (GER)
15.10 @ Bastard Club, Osnabruck (GER) w/ Goldust
16.10 @ Frontline, Gent (BEL) w/ Vogue
17.10 @ Le Pub, Newport w/ Cold World, Rhythm To The Madness
18.10 @ Ruby Lounge, Manchester w/ Cold World, Rhythm To The Madness, Hellmouth
19.10 @ Cricketers Arms, Sheffield w/ Cold World, Rhythm To The Madness, Hordes, Deal With It

All I need is the air that I breathe...

2007-09-26T20:44:00.000-04:00

...compressed and put in a can and called 'POWER OXYGEN' which comes in a couple of flavours - Tropical Breeze or Cool Mint. Only in America...!

(Modelled by Hoodrack)

Spiders and scorpions will give you AIDS

2007-09-26T20:13:00.000-04:00

French ad by an AIDS awareness group.

This Is England stills.

2007-09-25T10:23:00.000-04:00

Shaun

Milky, Woody, Pukey, Kez and Gadget

Combo

Gadget, Kez, Shaun, Woody and Puke

The girls after shaving Shaun's head.

Woody

Shaun throwing the St. George in the sea.

All outside Ollies.

THIS IS ENGLAND

2007-09-25T10:12:00.000-04:00

"Our England is a garden, and such gardens are not made By singing - 'Oh how beautiful!' and sitting in the shade, While better men go out and start their working lives at grubbing weeds from gravel paths with broken dinner knives”
- Rudyard Kipling

When I was younger Maggie Thatcher was the equivalent of the monster under the stairs. Her face was one which struck fear into young hearts across the country. She lurked round every corner and was used as a threat whenever anyone got into trouble. You had the Boogie Man, we had 'Maggie Thatcher, milk snatcher'. And that was our Prime Minister who resided for three long, gruelling terms.

This Is England - written and directed by Shane Meadows:

I'm very slow on the uptake with this film as it was released in the UK in April and haven't been able to see it because of my residence in the US. So now I'm back in Blighty for a while the first thing i wanted to do was see this. I wasn't disappointed either. This film blew my mind.

I was thinking about trying to write very intricately about the plot and the cast and the social background of this film but I would rather encourage all of you to watch it yourselves, learn and think. I think it's a great lesson in helping us to understand about how people are mainly the product of our own environments. How we develop is based deeply in what we are taught socially and by our peers. Working class British children of the 80's weren't given a lot to hold on to at all and that was Thatchers' fault. Mrs Thatcher's political life was aimed at keeping 60% of the population content to the detriment of the remaining 40%. The elites got richer and richer and the economic gap got wider and wider. She reinforced our class boundaries, she tore up families, she started a pointless war to get re-elected, she flatlined our country...I could go on for a long time and i'm obviously biased against The Iron Lady but this is how I feel and this is what I know.

But before rambling anymore I will get back to the film.

In a nutshell, This Is England is a semi-autobiographical story written and directed by Shane Meadows (Dead Mans' Shoes). As an original skin himself Meadows accurately shows how some of the skinhead movement became involved in the Nationalist and racist movements and why. It maps the coming of age of Shaun, a twelve year old who lives in a northern seaside town in 1983.

One thing which blew my mind about the film was how convincingly 80's it seemed and how much stuff was in there to relate to. From the opening credits (Roland Rat, Rubix cubes and The Falklands) to the soundtrack ('Tainted Love' filtering out of a closed-up shop doorway) to the opening scene where you see Shaun's bedroom and the decor of picked off woodchip wallpaper (who else had that? picking the wallpaper was one of my favourite hobbies).

I feel like the reason that this film is so easy to relate to is because the legacy of the 80's and Thatchers' destruction remains still within our country.

This is a good film for American people to watch too, as it kind of adds an understanding to the English skinhead culture which is either bastardized, glorified or romanticized in The States. It helps to explain how different flying the stars and stripes outside your house in America is to flying the St George or Union Jack outside a house in England (except from during The World Cup!). The stigma attached to it is completely different.

Anyhow, if you can...get your hands on this film when it comes out. Above I have posted some stills for your perusal.

WAH WAH WAH

2007-09-23T15:33:00.000-04:00

I've been bad.

I haven't updated this for about a week.

Sorry to the 3 people that read it.

I've been on a hiatus in London and Amsterdam, watching football, seeing friends and getting some CULCHAAA. Perhaps some photos will follow.

Back to the normal everyday postings of hot air as of tomorrow. <3

2007-09-15T19:43:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder what the rest of the world is doing when I'm sitting on my mates' balcony in West London, having a cuppa, spying on her neighbour who's watching bad porn with the curtains open.

All Hail The Wolfpig

2007-09-14T11:45:00.000-04:00

All hail the wolfpig, the one with soul, who’s in control. With the poker face stare, never concerned, always giving orders. Do you know this dog? Well if you don’t I think you should...

woke me up this morning by jumping on my head.

Hang In There Baumer

2007-09-12T21:30:00.000-04:00

He is the most important character in our lives mate

Kev: I feel like Richie would be my mate in real life

Me: mine too

Kev: he is such a fuckup

Me: i feel like he would be the best friend

Kev: yeah, he is a great friend to Eli who is a smack head and tells Margot that Richie loves her
And he never gives up on his dad
So I'll never give up on him

Me: i cant believe that Eli ever did that
it ruins a lot for Richie
I wish Richie never loved Margot in some ways

Kev: Me too.
But they get to be in love in secret, which is awesome

Me: Sometimes i feel like what Eli did....Owen Wilson is now paying for in real life.

Kev: Poor Owen Wilson
Hang In There Owen Wilson Mate
I will write a song called that
Or
Dont be a smack head mate, its ok

Me: yeah, don't be a knobhead with drugs
he shouldnt be sad

Kev: I celebrate owens life
He is a beautiful man

Me: yeah he is celebrated the world over, why cant he celebrate his own?

Kev: I hope hes ok
And that Alan Partridge isnt giving him more smack

Me: fuck Alan Partridge, Fuck Courtney Love too
When writing the Richie song, what did you think about mostly?

Kev: I thought about Richie playing tennis wearing no shoes and one sock
And about when Richie and Margot ran away
And I thought about how he loves his dad loads even though his dad is a tit end

Me: Do you get so sad when he starts shaving?

Kev: Yeah. It makes me so sad

Me: it makes me feel so sad for everything
is the Richie song gonna be on the new album?

Kev: Yeah mate
I cant wait for the album to be out

***********************************************************************************

NEW DOWN AND OUTS ALBUM COMING SOON.

www.downandouts.net
www.myspace.com/downandouts

Drinks of America

2007-09-09T12:25:00.001-04:00

Vitamin Water XXX (acai - blueberry - pomegranate) *triple antioxidants* is by far my favourite drink in the whole of America. I will miss it considerably for a couple of months.

Also: America loves energy drinks.

Not only do stacks of Red Bulls / Sugar Free Red Bulls / Red Bull free Red Bulls line the fridges of any respectable gas station - but so do a huge array of other more interesting little pick me ups.

some favourites: MONSTER. COCAINE (yes that's for real, it burns like hell and has now been taken off the shelves of most NEPA stores). MONEY SHOT.

But most importantly...

PIMPJUICE.

- People believe in Pimpjuice. It sells. It's not only skinny white students 'being ironic' or people who are hard of seeing that pick this gold-plated refreshment over its contenders. People buy Pimpjuice in all seriousness.

We live in a wonderful world.

Pay respect to an i-Con

2007-09-05T10:17:00.000-04:00

i-D Magazine are dedicating a section of their November issue to the memory of Tony Wilson and his many achievements.

If you were a regular at the Hacienda or have any interesting stories or anecdotes to tell about Mr. Wilson and the scene he perpetuated then please email your stories and high-res photos to i-D's MySpace and help them pay their respects to a much loved British icon.

www.myspace.com/idmagazine

Yeaa I know my breeding, know my Father he was born of light said yeaa. Can't hardly stand it, cuts me down the middle then I... I come alive YEAAA.

2007-09-04T07:37:00.000-04:00

Here's a brand new Danzig video for 'Crawl Across Your Killing Floor' off of this Summers' much-awaited release 'The Lost Tracks' (which showcases a number of previously unreleased tracks - duh).

I wish people who wear Matrix coats would at least swop them for something like Glenn is wearing in this video.

(Thanks to Bjorn to Expire for the tip-off).

WINEHOUSE INTO OBLIVION

2007-09-03T00:37:00.000-04:00

AFTER / BEFORE

Gyal what happened? Get some meat back on them bones.

Speaking of Alice In Chains, has anyone not picked up the new Rise And Fall 7" on Deathwish Records yet? If you haven't...bad knobhead...go do so and be prepared to have your skin melted off your skull.

They bring a new song entitled 'Clawing' to the table, a reworking of 'Bottom Feeder' and cover 'Them Bones' by a classic band mentioned above (not Winehouse, psssh).

www.riseandfall.org
www.myspace.com/riseandfall13
www.deathwishinc.com

Kencredible

2007-09-01T15:25:00.000-04:00

Kencredible is a photographer working out of Philadelphia. He's been involved in hardcore/punk rock for years and it can't be denied that you can see his attitude and lifestyle interpreted within his photos.

Whether he's taking live photos of bands, landscape photos, or photographing the craziest models - Ken is pushing creative boundaries.

(Killadelphia)

Philadelphia looks like Mordor. This photo is insane, it looks like a watercolour painting.

http://www.kencredible.com/
www.myspace.com/kencredible
www.flickr.com/photos/kencredible

When it pains it roars

2007-09-01T15:20:00.000-04:00

"Jawbreaker appropriated this German monogram for use on their early releases up to and including Bivouac. The 4 Fs stand for the motto "Frisch, Fromm, Fröhlich, Frei" ("Hardy, God-fearing, Cheerful, Free"). Friedrich Ludwig Jahn, the founder of modern gymnastics, popularized it in the early nineteenth century."

www.loosecharm.org

Walk It Out

2007-08-31T00:07:00.000-04:00

Favourites.

2007-08-30T22:27:00.000-04:00

www.myspace.com/titlefight

http://www.thetitlefight.com/

Title Fight are a bunch of young'uns from Kingston, PA. As far as I know not one of them is over 18yrs of age and they play music that's compared to Lifetime, Blink 182, The Movielife, Jawbreaker and Saves The Day. So if that floats your boat, then buy their split cd with The Erection Kids on Flight Plan Records.

Seeing this band play live a few times was one of a handful of things that made this Summer so good.

They state their list of influences as: "pool parties, skateboards, summertime, girls, long hair, and not listening to our parents".

Surely that's enough to make you want to hear them.

Go and listen. Send them some fanmail. Buy them some pizza. Book them a world tour.

What came first, the music or the misery?

2007-08-30T09:46:00.000-04:00

Some may have read this already, some may have seen the film, some of you may not have a clue what the gash im twatting on about this time. So just in case...

High Fidelity is a classic book for people who love music. It documents the life of Rob, a self-absorbed, arrogant prick. His girlfriend has just left him so he sets about revisiting his ex's who make up his 'Top 5 most memorable break-ups'. I wont give the rest away as you should read it yourself.

Rob owns a record shop in London (which was changed to Chicago for the movie). The book is full of contemplations over mixtape aesthetics, compiled lists, text that pours over rare records and narrative of Rob living within his own selfish fantasies. His world is circled by a lineup of big characters, mainly consisting of his employees and his exes. You can't help but feel sad for Rob, nor can you help but like him.

The way Nick Hornby writes blows my mind.

"I've been thinking with my guts since I was fourteen years old, and frankly speaking, between you and me, I have come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

Other books to look out for by Nick Hornby in particular: About A Boy, Fever Pitch.

Glenn loves it..

2007-08-23T11:47:00.000-04:00

Satan, books and shirts off are Danzigs' favourites (obviously).

Keep checking back for an upcoming article on Danzig I, II, III and the 'Anthropology of Evil' by David Parkin.

DEEP.

Love at first sight...

2007-08-23T09:38:00.000-04:00

LouLou Loves You is a collection of lingerie, lovingly handmade by Louise Androlia. This London based wonder is set to expand her empire and her orders with the recent launch of her new website and online store at www.louloulovesyou.co.uk.

Her signature self-titled panties, plus her 'Lorelei' and 'Dorothy' knickers all come in a handful of fetching colours. They are fit for any self-appointed queen and will have you prancing around your room and your life in no time.

Fancy a slink around in 100% silk satins? Of course you do. So go visit her site and place an order, or get your nearest and dearest to do it for you - drop a few hints, see what happens.

Tea and Biscuits caught up with Lou via email and had a chat (the cyber version of a nice sit down and a cuppa).

T&Bs: Hello lovely, why knickers?

Lou: Hello! I love knickers! haha that sounds lame, my top two favorite things to nerd out about are stationary and lingerie, i'm either searching out the perfect pen or the nicest knickers.

T&Bs: Where did it all begin for you?

Lou: Ok, i'll try and make this short-ish. After school I started a fine art degree (painting) at Chelsea college of art, completed a year, then unfortunately became ill and wasn't able to finish. In the four years I spent recovering I took some short pattern cutting and dressmaking classes down in Brighton where I was living at the time. I moved back to London two years ago with the intention that Lingerie was where I wanted to be, I figured, try and work with something you are passionate about. I took a City and Guilds in Lingerie at Kensington and Chelsea college and then a couple of extra short courses, one in bra making. I was working as a nanny at the same time, then come last Christmas I decided that I'd make a go of setting up a business so I finished my job and worked full time on 'Loulou Loves You'.

T&Bs: How are things going with the louloulovesyou.co.uk site?

Lou: Things are going well so far. I've been lucky enough to have a little piece in the Evening Standard and a mention on a lingerie blog, both have brought in enough orders to keep me busy in the last few weeks. I'm just working on spreading the word now and designing new items to add to the range. Knickers are just the beginning.

T&Bs: Who or what, would you say, inspires you to come up with ideas for new knicks? Are their any icons that influence the shape or design of loulou knickers?

Lou: I make knickers that I want, it seemed the most obvious thing to do!
Like any artist I guess, I am constantly collecting things that inspire me. Some of my favourite things to research are the circus, carnivals and sideshows, cartoon heroines and old horror movies. I wouldn't say I have particular famous icons that inspire me, it's more like I'll see someone or something, a certain colour and an idea will crop up. I named the 'Lorelei' and 'Dorothy' knickers after the characters that Marylin Monroe and Jane Russell play in 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes' which is one of my old favourite movies from my childhood.

T&Bs: Each pair of knickers are handmade with love, how long does it take from start to finish to complete one pair?

Lou: I'd say about an hour and a half, depending on the style it could be more or less though. I like to take the time to make them perfect, and probably spend a good ten minutes examining them to check they are just right to send out.

T&Bs: Primark one-pound a go undies....yes or no?

Lou: I think it's cool you can get cute things now on the cheap, and I certainly have some. One thing I would say though is that once you're used to wearing silk underwear then the polyester satin never feels quite as good! I think its great though to have your regular pieces, some cheaper than others, but then have something really nice, you know, for an occasion..

T&Bs: Your signature panties are made with 100% silk. Why do people wear PVC underwear and think that it's sexy?

Lou: It's sexy to them? each to their own. Some people might hate the feel of silk. I'm pretty sure the whole point of lingerie is to make you feel good, and if it's PVC, then why not?

T&Bs: If you could make a playlist to go alongside a perfect day for a loulou knicker-wearer, what would it be?

Lou: Oh wow, ok...

-My Bloody Valentine- Only Shallow
-The Magnetic Fields- I'm sorry I love you
-Little Richard- Girl can't help it
-The Strokes- Red light
-The Ronettes- He did it
-Les Savy Fav- Yawn yawn yawn
-Murder City Devils- I drank the wine
-My Chemical Romance- Cemetery drive

I put my last fm playlists on my 'about me' section on the website, so people could see what I'm listening to while i'm sewing.

T&Bs: What does the future hold for you?

Lou: Expanding my empire, cats, make out sessions, ice cream, new skills and paid bills.

You can catch up with LouLou Loves You here:

www.louloulovesyou.co.uk

or on myspace:

www.myspace.com/lingeriebylouloulovesyou